It's Gordon's Turn

OK, so I know this is Joshua's blog but I am hoping to use this to get the word out. Gordon is in the hospital today. They are moving him out of ICU to a cardiac floor today so he is finally stable. Maybe I had better back up and start from the beginning.
Yesterday afternoon Gordon started feeling that his heart was not beating in rhythm. It is called atrial fibrillation. He has had this before but it has been a long time. Well he did not want to go to the hospital but I was worried so I insisted he get a blessing. Well one of the 2 men from our church who came was Brother Cameron. Lucky (OK just one of many blessings we had last night) for us he is a doctor. So after the blessing he checks his pulse and says that he needed to go to the ER right away. With his insistence Gordon agreed to go. Once there the doctor in the ER decided to cardiovert him with paddles. They gave him a pain med and hit him. No warning, nothing. When we told brother Cameron he was shocked, he couldn't believe that they did not put him out for this. It was frightening for me and painful for Gordon. However he dropped from 150 beats to 88 per minute. So the ER felt he was OK and they were going to send us home when things went from bad to worse. About 20 minutes after the shock Gordon told me he thought he was "fading". I looked at the heart monitor and saw 23 beats, 20 beats, and flat line. I yelled for the nurse that his heart stopped and they came running. The doctor felt for a carotid pulse and said his heart has stopped and to begin CPR and bag him. They were preparing to intubate and everything but he came back in about 30 seconds and they got him stabilized. By now I am freaked out and he is very confused. He did not realize what had happened and kept telling them he was ready to go home. Needless to say I was not OK with that. Well that brings us to today, he is out of ICU and on the cardiac floor and doing extensive testing. Even the cardiologist says that what happened is very rare and they need to figure out why his heart stopped. He just finished an echo cardiogram, which is a big word for an ultrasound of his heart. I was proud to say I recognized the aorta, left ventricle, and two valves. Tomorrow he is scheduled for a stress test and a nuclear stress test. They have taken tons of blood and are checking cholesterol, hypertension, diabetes. I really like this doctor because he is thorough and cautious. He is waiting for every test before he decides what to do. We have heard everything from pacing to medicine to an automatic implanted cardiac defibrillator. One thing I like is we will have answers tomorrow so that is good, I can't take waiting at this point.
Now, on to the important stuff: BLESSINGS
1. Brother Cameron and priesthood blessings in general
2. Going to the ER and not having this happen at home (they told us he would have died)
3. Being able to call the Bishop and not be alone when I was so very frightened
4. Health insurance (became active January 1)
5. Good doctors, I can't say enough about how impressed I am with the cardiologist.
6. Another day together (I will never let him go to sleep again without telling him I love him.
7. A great ward, they have rallied and taken the children in without question
8. Sister Flores who stayed most of the night last night and did my dishes
9. Family who fasted today for us.
10. Just the knowledge that no matter what we will always be together

I will keep everyone posted but right now we are just waiting for a plan to move forward and I am very excited because he is very cranky and I see that as a good sign. Poor Gordon, his chest really hurts, just the shock would have been enough but the CPR did him in.

Chemo and Coccoa

Well Monday was a long day but we are doing ok. We spent 4 hours trying to swallow a pill and Joshua worked really hard at it but it was just too much. Finally they broke it in a syrup and he got it down. He is not feeling bad now so we are counting ourselves lucky and I am very proud of how hard he worked. He wanted to do it and never stopped trying. We let him pick 2 webkinz for the hard work he did and so that he would not see it as a failure but a success.

I also wanted to tell you a story that happened last Monday. We went to the Mcdonalds for family night and had a blast. They had free Hot Chocolate and face painting. The kids loved it and the face painter took a shine to Joshua. He talked her into painting his head and I thought you would love to see the pictures. As hard as things are Joshua never lets it get him down. I am so grateful to the face painter for caring about Josh. It is wonderful to see him laugh and be silly and just being a kid. Oh, if anybody is interested in how these things relate, Josh used coccoa to try and swallow the pills. He really likes it!

The Bomb and the Fallout

Well, Joshua has been doing so well this cycle but I am not surprised by this news. When he was in the hospital last time there is one chemo that he takes by mouth but he kept throwing it up. The nurse finally came in and said the doctor told her that it was a maintance dose and they were just going to skip it. Well I mentioned it to the oncologist we saw in the clinic the next week and he said that it was important and that he should have had it but it was too late and we would just worry about taking next cycle. Well when we went to the clinic this Friday they dropped a bomb. Doctor Wolff, the head of the department found out about all this and freaked out. He said that that chemo was very important and we have to get it down. Even though we are 3 weeks out he still wants Joshua to take it. This is troubling on several levels. One he still has the problem of taking it, he gets very upset about taking pills now. Also it will give him nausea for a day or two (bummer) but the biggest thing is that this is the drug that kills his counts and makes him so weak and tired. AND the count drop will happen 2-3 weeks out so this will affect his next cycle, it may be delayed if his counts do not rebound fast enough. We are going to the clinic in the morning to take this chemo. I am giving him anti nausea to try and help and I am insisting that the counselor that has begun working with him be present to help. I will say that I think that this has all been a blessing for him from Heavenly Father. Everybody at our house has had a cold and cough and he had it too. If he had gotten that chemo he could have gotten very sick and been in the hospital so I think that this delay was heaven sent to protect him. I just hope tomorrow goes well and he doesn't get too weak from this. We will have to see. Meantime we appreciate your prayers and hope that all is well with you. I will post later in the week. To be honest, the longer it takes for me to get another post in the harder of a time he is having, I really have to focus on him when he is weak.

Wii Fit and other Health News

Ok we are officially Wii fit junkies! Joshua is a great yoga fan and he is pretty good at it too. We all love the balance games and Josh and his Dad run together. We are working out as a family about 5 days a week between 20 and 30 minutes each. The fun thing is that everybody watches and cheers for each other. Dorothy loves to tell me "Good try mom" (that is because my scores are behind Josh and sometimes Dad's) It sounds corny but it is a family activity and everybody has fun. I have to say I never wanted a video game system but the Wii is one of the best things to happen to us and the greatest gift. When Joshua is tired and down he can really get a pick me up by playing games with Teddy and he moves alot more. I am all for the belief that exercise releases endorfins (spellling) and that can only help.
On to other health news, Josh has a cold but his counts have been up enough that he is ok. This week is when he should drop but I am waiting to see because they lowered his cisplanin level and maybe it will be better. We have been a little off schedule but we go this Friday for the last outpatient chemo of this cycle. The next cycle starts at the end of January. It is truly a miracle that he has gotten this far in treatment without a major health scare. We are blessed and I know that the many prayers on his and our behalf have made the difference. I am looking at this new year with excitement and hope that we will get to a better place and our family can begin to move forward. I hope that everybody can have a new year filled with hope and happiness.

Merry Christmas

Christmas was wonderful, the children had the best time. The first picture is before they went crazy. Next you see Dorothy with the afgan my mom made for her, each of the girls got one. Next you see Joshua with his Wii fit and then Rachel in the middle of it all, and we finish with the end of the day, Rachel fell asleep at the table, how cute is that! I hope your day was as wonderful.

Home For Christmas

Well we are home again. Joshua had a very tough time this round but it is over and we are resting while we watch Auther on the couch. Poor Joshua, it hit him very fast this time. He was sick right away. It was a very bad night but morning finally came. Luckily because they lowered his dose this time he recovered just as fast. He is still weak but was able to come home in time to make it to church. He only stayed for sacrament meeting but was glad to be there. It is so hard to see him suffer and humbling to then be so faithful. I am grateful for all the people who have helped to make this a great christmas for Josh and the kids. I wish I could give him what he really wants for christmas....to be cured. My heart breaks that I can't but I know that we will have fun on christmas morning. There are lots of presents under the tree and if we can get some guys from the elders quorum to come over there will be a tramoline in the yard.
For all the people who are complaining about not being able to enlarge the new kids picture, Gordon and I sent out christmas cards and included copies of the picture in them. They will be a little late but hopefully you will forgive us when you see the picture. We did not have enough copies of the picture to send them to everybody but the card itself is a cute picture of the family so hopefully everybody will be happy. Merry Christmas to you and may the choicest blessings come to your families. We appreciate all that everyone does for us and could not live without the prayers.

Just A Quick Note and Farm Update

I just wanted to let everyone know that Joshua is going into the hospital for his last inpatient chemo this year. I wish it was his last chemo ever but it makes me feel good to say the last of this year. We had his hearing test today and it was good news. No further hearing loss but that was expected because he did not have the cicplatin this last round. We will be having that this time but they are lowering the dose because the hearing loss he has already sustained is significant. So while the test is good news we still get to hold our breath for the next test in 6 weeks. I am hoping that the lowered dose will mean that he does not get so sick this time. Again, we have to wait and see.
On another note he is feeling ok right now but still can't seem to get a break. He was bitten by a donkey he was petting yesterday. He was wearing dark green thermals and a light green t-shirt and it was a very nice and friendly donkey I just think his arm looked like food and the donkey did a taste test. It hurt and he was frightened but mostly he was embarrassed afterward. The donkey left some bruising but did not break the skin so he is fine. Please do not ask him about it. I only mention it to point out that this sweet child can not seem to get a break in life. Please include him in your prayers and we are hoping he will have a merry Christmas. In the meantime we are keeping him away from livestock and other hazardous animals. Yes, that means he will not be any live nativities this year, we do not trust sheep. hahaha
May you all have a great weekend and I will post when we are home from the hospital and doing well. As always thanks for everything.