Changes from the Ground Up

Well, we are at it again. After months of tests and enough blood drawn to suck poor Josh dry, we have no answers. Every test comes up negative or normal. Josh is an egnigma wrapped in a riddle. That is hard because it makes further treatment for some of his problems a shot in the dark. We went to a ortho surgeon to see about fixing his feet and getting him on the ground. It did not go well to say the least. First he told us he would not lengthen but actually need to sever the tendons to make a difference. Then as we got more into what it would actually take to correct his feet and found that they would also have to sever the tendons in all of his toes to make them spread out flat again instead of curling inward. He talked about putting a halo brace on both feet and Josh being in a wheelchair during recovery. This turned out to be the good news. Because of the test that showed a problem with the nerves instead of the muscles there is a good chance that Joshua would go back up on his toes in a couple of years anyway. Also, there is a possibility that the surgery could make Joshua worse instead of better. The long and short of it is that this doctor (who is very nice and highly recommended) will not do it. He has recommended that we see someone else. I do not blame him, there is a big risk to him to try this and he doesn't want to hurt Joshua but it really frightens me that this man who has lots of experience won't do it. I am sure you are thinking just leave him alone but as he gains weight and some height (thanks growth hormones) it is getting more painful for him to walk on his toes all the time. If he stubbs a toe he can not walk without pain for a couple of days. Also, it is starting to effect his participation in scouting activities too. They have just informed us that he can't go on any scout activity without Gordon with him because he is so far behind on the walks that they can't keep him with the group. That is a scouting safety thing, I know they are looking out for his safety. He is tripping and stumbling more too. We are going to go to the doctor that this one recommended but I am now very concerned. I see Gordon and I having to make a no win choice for him.
The other big concern for him is that he has still not fully started puberty yet and his bone age says he is running out of time. We see the endrocronologist in April and if something doesn't change they may have to start him on synthetic testosterone to try and get something going. Also not a good thing with lots of risks.
I do not post much now because I am trying to keep up with the kids and making life as normal as possible but I still worry just as much as always and we still need lots of prayers. I don't have the right to ask for anything because we have been blessed with so much but I just wish something could be easy for him. I want him to have something in his life that is normal and happen like it is supposed to. Please don't think we are totally disheartened, he is happy and we are enjoying our blessings. We still have no evidence of further tumor and that is everything! He is so proud (as are we) that he now has the priesthood at church and really works hard to be worthy of that. We still go day by day and do the best we can. I just think that it is important for our family to know what his struggles are so we can all still pray for answers. We love you tons!