Well we never seem to be up for long. Before I start this I had better say that yes we are blessed and Joshua is doing ok for now, we will see what his counts are on Friday.
Now, on to the whine.
We had an adjuster here right after the hurricane. She told us that the damage was substantial ( I agree) and said that she would get us our insurance fast so we could go to work. The amount of the damages was so great that they sent us a check to get started. Well long story short the mortgage company lost that check and we still do not have it. So we turned our attention to the final adjustment. Well we found out yesterday that they are not sending it. The insurance company says that the adjuster was way off and that they think the damage is only worth about 6 to 8,000. With our 4,000 deductable (yes you read that right, they do a percentage of the value of your home here) we will probably not get enough to fix the house. Now the insurance company says that we must start over again with a new adjuster and everything. It could be months before we get anything at all. I can not tell you how depressed I am. It is not about the money it is just another disappointment. I know that I have lots to be thankful for but I am just tired of this. I have had a hard time with this move and tried to be positive even after the hurricane. I told myself that this would be good, we could get new carpet (this carpet is in pretty bad shape) I told myself when we repainted maybe I could use some pretty colors but that is just not going to happen. I know that I am being selfish and should be more grateful but I can't stop crying. I keep doing silly things like signing up on Oprah hoping she will pick us for a home makeover or something. I know we are not special and that many people need help more than us but I am tired. Great, I am crying again. I feel like it will never get better, Josh will never be healthy again, we just can't seem to get to the top of the hill.
Please let me say, I know that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father love us, I know this all has to happen and has a purpose. The only thing that keeps us from going under and giving up is that knowledge. I just don't know if I am up to the challenge, I worry that I am not strong enough, not .....something. I want to be happy, I want to look for positives, I want to be the example for my children. I want them as adults to say that their mom never wavered and always made a difference. I just can't seem to get past my broken heart.
Ok, I didn't mean to ramble on and I will be better tomorrow. I am blessed and I will keep counting my blessings. When I finish the long list I promise to feel better and smile. Please pray for us and I will post this weekend with Josh's counts so you will not have to look at this long.
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4 comments:
Ruth-
I love you. You are strong. But noone's expected to be the pillar of strength all the tie. It's ok to be tired because in our weakness God's strength is made perfect. Keep relying on Him, like I know you always do...that's what yoru children will remember and they will see Him bless your lives in ways we don even see. We have a magnet on our fridge that says "happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have". during those hard times it helps me remember to lok for that happiness aroud me and that I do have what I want a family (a pretty great one) an understanding of the gospel that helps me, a home (not a great one) and friends to share the burden especially when what our mind tells us and what are heart feels are not the same thing.
We love you and will keep you (& oprah) in our prayers! :)
love always,
Chrissy
It's okay to be disappointed, it happens and this world is unfair! But you've got your heart and knowledge in the right place by turning it all over to the Lord, He's the only one who can do right by you! I just read Jon Bytheway's book "When Times Are Tough", it really lifted my spirits in a lot of areas. Take care and really relish each small blessing. Love Ya
Sending you big hugs and wishing I could help make it all better! Don't Insurance companies just have a way of kicking you when you are down?? They excell at that. It's true that life is unfair, and don't feel guilty for really feeling it, you guys ARE getting more than your fair share at the moment. It WILL get better. Try to watch out for His tender mercies, He does slip them in here and there.
Hugs from the Reeders!
I've never been one to give the best advice when my friends are down. But I am pretty good at just listening. My heart is breaking with yours and hoping things get better soon. Keep smiling and try to find good things each day. You'll get through this, you always do. I know you've seen more than your share of trials, but it's because you are so strong. What an example to pass on to your children! Lots of hugs! Sherri
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