Waiting

I waited until noon today for the phone to ring. I woke up crying and could not stop for almost an hour. I am so frightened, I don't know anything and I am so afraid of losing my little one. Gordon isn't home yet and this is more than I can take. Finally I called the doctors office and found out he is in his car on the way out of town. I begged them to have someone call, I can't wait until Monday or after Thanksgiving. It is like a weight on my chest and I can't breath. They called him and he said he would call later in the day so I am still waiting.
Now Gordon has called and his plane is delayed, more waiting. I got off the phone and cryed again, what if he can't get here? I know that is silly but I am really freaked out.
Ok, Gordon is on the plane and the doctor called. I had a hard time hearing him, the phone kept cutting out but we got through the conversation. Basicly I don't know much more now than before! He has a tumor in his Cerabellum, that is in the back of his brain and a small area. In a child his size the area is about 5-6 centimeters and the tumor is 3 centimeters. The doctor is shocked at the size and can not believe he does not have symtoms. He kept asking if he was deaf or at least on the left side. He thought that by now he should be falling down or running into things. The tumor does not appear cancerous but he would not say for sure because it is so large. The radiologist had labeled it a Schwannoma but the doctor said that is wrong, it is too big and you don't see them in children Josh's age. We will just have to wait till it comes out to see what it is. We are meeting him on the 26 and then we will have some answers, I hope. All I know for sure is he has to have brain surgery and spinal surgery for his tethered cords. I don't really know anything about that one, just that the problem can affect his bladder and must be corrected. Well, this was long but that is how the day feels. Gordon is in the sky and Josh has Pack meeting (cub scouts) and I can't think of what I should be doing. Our wonderful friends are already stepping up and Sister Call is bringing dinner.
This actually occured on Friday the 16th of November. Still catching up....................