Good Night

I went home tonight so Josh could spend the night with Dad.  He got into the wheelchair 2 times and is worn out.  I thought they needed to have time together and as Gordon put it, there isn't any more food in the house so I guess I have work to do!  I came home to a jar of pickles tipped over in the fridge and somehow it got set too high and everything on the top shelf was half frozen so I think I was needed here.  The doctor came in after I left and Gordon said he may start the weening from the epidural tomorrow so we will have to see how it goes.  I am a little worried about him, he is obviously a little depressed. I am hoping that when the epidural is gone it will help.  I think it freaks him out a little to be mostly numb.  Also the valium he is on may be contributing to that.  We got a nice gift from his school today, they had a bouquet of balloons with some great chocolate sent over and it was nice.  We are just trying to take it one day at a time and look for small victories.  I hope that everybody knows how much we appreciate you.  Prayers, meals, and messages are great.  It is really hard for me to see him low and back in a hospital bed.  It brings back his treatment and I hate to see him so sad.  I wish he was done with all this and could just do all the things he wants.  I know this is a step to try and make that happen but it just isn't fair.  Then I see the kids at the hospital that are so much more sick than Josh and I feel guilty for thinking that way.  We are so blessed and I know it.  One day at a time. (I guess I need to take my own advice)